Why I chose a photo of my child for my profile pic

The Lasting Imprint of an "Invisible" Woman:

Why I chose a photo of my child for my profile pic

According to author Katie Roiphe, when women use pictures of their children for their profile picture on Facebook, they are saying “I don’t matter anymore . . . The subliminal equation is clear: I am my children . . . Like wearing sneakers every day or forgetting to cut your hair, it is a way of being dowdy and invisible, and it mirrors a certain mommy culture in which its almost a point of pride how little remains of the healthy, worldly, engaged, and preening self . . . [becoming, instead, one of the] vanished ladies.”

In the author’s opinion, a “brilliant and accomplished woman” (and the entire feminism movement) is diminished when a woman’s children are her main concern. She states that Betty Friedan would turn over in her grave at the use of a child’s photo to reflect a woman’s identity. By doing so, she’s surrendering to her own sexuality. That such an act harkens back to when women were Mrs. Name of Her Husband, when news and politics were the domain of men only.

That’s ridiculous! I’m one of those women “Devoted to [my] children’s . . . education . . . and general formation.” Parenting IS the priority in my life right now. On occasion, I use photos of my children as my profile pic. But I’m hardly invisible!

While there aren’t quarterly reports on my work, I have baby books of milestones. I’m a starring character on pages of my kids’ writings and pictures. And while photos of me alone are non-existent these days, I don’t mind being behind the camera. In fact, I’m getting to be a pretty good photographer.



I’m sure my child-related conversations are found lacking to many people, but in this age of information overload, nothing beats speaking with other parents to share experiences and wisdom.

Yes, I still have other interests beyond parenting. I’ve always enjoyed books and movies. But these aren’t as easy to discuss. I’m usually a bit behind current trends since I’m borrowing from the library and waiting for DVD releases.

I still love to cook. But now, rather than perfecting decadent chocolate desserts, I make cooking an adventure for the whole family, from shopping at the farmer’s market, to searching for new international recipes, sneaking in the green veggies and practicing real-life application of fractions.

Many of us aren’t just pushing strollers and packing lunches. We’re taking our passion for parenting to lead support groups, teach workshops, visit our elected officials, campaign for changes and demand corporate responsibility to improve our world for ALL children. And we’re using Facebook to gather support for our cause.

Hmm . . . looks like I’m modeling some “healthy, worldly, engaged” behaviors, the very ones the author was bemoaning that women lost when upon joining the “mommy culture.”

Yes, these days, my wardrobe choices are more about comfort than high-fashion. And my hairstyle is definitely low-maintenance. But my kids don’t mind. And my 6 year old enjoys painting my nails more than anyone I’ve ever paid!

My real-life, child-free social interactions are limited. Now I squeeze in coffee dates during naptime. No more hours at the newest restaurant followed by clubbing all night. Networking

and power-lunches have been replaced by playdates and storytime at the library.

But this is a season of my life. And I’ve CHOSEN to focus on my family. I’m thankful to my parents and educators for giving me the confidence to follow my own path. I’m grateful to my husband for accepting a lower financial standing so I can devoted myself to my vocation as a mother.

I’d wager that the only outrage Betty Friedan would feel is how undervalued parenting is in this country.

By Christine Sheets